Source: Bertrand Rindoff Petroff / Getty

Kids See Ghost rapper Kid Cudi hit up Jada Pinkett Smith‘s Red Table Talk series to open up about his mental health issues over the years. In a preview, he confesses that he was “ashamed” and so he didn’t let anyone know what was going on at first.

“I was really food at keeping my troubles hidden. Even from my friends,” he said in the clip, first posted by PEOPLE. “I really was good with that—and it’s scary because you hear people say ‘I had no clue.’”

“It was me,” he added, taking all blame away from anyone who might feel guilty about not recognizing the signs. “I really went out of my way to keep what I was going through hidden because I was ashamed.”

Watch him open up below. Red Table Talk airs Monday on Facebook Watch.

Photo: Getty